I found that saying what I did not want first, helped me articulate what I wanted second, which then helped me figure out what I needed.

I do not want to spend my life staring at a screen.

I want to learn my build process so that I do not spend my life staring at a screen.

I need to earn an income while learning my build process so that I do not spend my life staring at a screen.

While earning an income while learning my build process is a nice thought. It has no actual meat to it. I assume most people want to spend their lives living it and not staring a screen, but why is it so personal to me?

I find myself making assumptions of what other's opinions are of me. This has began to feel like time spent avoiding confronting my own insecurities. I feel this way because these assumptions act if everyone is thinking of me deeply.

As if no one else has jobs, lives, and endless tasks to occupy themselves with. These thoughts seem to trigger that childhood desire I had to to fit in. Which seems to marinate as an adult as wanting validation.

I started to notice that I had a pattern of speaking of the past often. Now I get it, you might be thinking "DUH, you were journaling." Which yes, DUH I was journaling, which is how I was able to notice that I was not just speaking of the past, I was speaking as if I was a passive participant. Everything was happening to me, but there was no agency around the outcomes.

Each journal seemed to be more forgiving than the first, the true nature of all the things I was feeling, grief, failure, pressure; a story of fighting back began.

If you are ever bold enough to build your dreams, you will encounter gatekeepers. Now, gatekeepers come in many different forms.

I think the times where I struggled the most while building unparty-app were the times where I was building for others.

It sounds wild to type out. My goal was always to build my own next step.

I started this project in 2022.

I lost my mom in January 2023.

I invested heavily in this project in 2023.

I failed all of 2024.

Fought back in 2025.

Having fun in 2026.

BUILDING.

SET YOUR GOAL.

GROUND YOUR IDEAS IN REALITY.

Achieveable and actionable goals will keep you moving forward in the face of all of the feelings you will encounter as you grow.

Giving you and only you the space to define and label all the things that make you, you.

I built unparty-app as a sort of digital hearth (n). I see it as a space to get to the heart of an idea.

A THINKER

A CONNECTOR

LOOKING FOR A BUILDER.

- THINKER

- BUILDER

- CONNECTOR

- YOU